Today is my twins' birthday. The following is an e-mail that I sent out to friends and family after their birth.
The babies arrived a little early – They were born at 2335 (Ava – 3lbs 8oz – 17”) and 2336 (Audrey – 4lbs 11oz – 16 ½”) on 12/28/04 via c-section. Everyone is fine.
The night started out fine – Aaron got home at about 8pm from work and taking pictures of Dean’s latest glass creations. Tia looked at the pictures and went back to bed. At about 9pm she yelled at me that here water broke. When I went in the bathroom I didn’t see any large puddles of water – in fact there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. I kinda thought she was kidding or didn’t know what she was talking about. I made her talk to the nursing hotline at the hospital and they told her to come on down – the hospital is of course in Mission Valley – about 85 miles away – and it was raining cats and dogs.
Luckily I made Tia pack her bags on Sunday so all I had to do is get her off the floor where she was on her hands and knees in pain and throw her in the car as well. We had a few conversations about her leaking or breaking her water in the car so she remembered to sit on her jacket just in case. We made it to the hospital in 55 minutes. There was no conversation on the way because Tia appeared to be in some type of pain – about 6 minutes apart.
When we arrived they brought her into an examining room to see if she was really in labor – here is where I was going to get to say “I told you so” and we were going to go home with false labor pains. Tia asked the nurse if she could have some drugs for the pain. The nurse looked at Tia and at the monitors she had hooked up and said “I think you are having labor contractions”. Aaron is proved wrong again.
The doctor on call was in another c-section at the time so it took about 5 minutes before she could come in and examine Tia. When she was examined the doctor said Tia was 6-8cm dilated. Tia asked for some drugs again. The doctor said not until she filled out all the paperwork. Two nurses came in and started the various paperwork at the same time. Tia couldn’t remember anything and her medical record was at her doctor’s office in San Marcos for her appointment the next day. Tia just nodded a lot while she was writhing in pain. Finally everything was signed off, I was wearing some scrubs about 10 sizes too small – they don’t have XXL I guess – and we were off to the surgery room. They finally gave Tia some drugs and the doctor said to roller her on her side because if she was to sit up a kid would fall out. From the time we entered to the time we went into surgery was 20 minutes.
Out popped the kids. I got to watch the second one (Audrey) come out – I think if someone tugged on me like that to get my noodle out of a hole that was too small for my head I would have punched that someone.
Ava is small but in very good shape – she has a little squished nose and her face is not quite symmetrical but that was from her sister pressing her head up against Tia’s ribs.
Audrey had a little problem keeping her lungs inflated by herself and was put on some forced oxygen but after about 18 hours she was breathing room air with a little forced pressure. I guess she didn’t have some surfactant produced in her lungs yet that allowed the lungs to stay inflated when she exhaled. She is progressing really well and Friday should go into an incubator.
Tia will probably be out on Saturday and has to stay that long because of the surgery. The babies will get to come home when they are eating regularly and can maintain their own body temp in an open crib – they think 5 days from birth and up to 2 weeks.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Hum Bug - A Christmas Tree Story
I dislike Christmas - or most other holidays for that matter. Before the egg heads get nutty - it's not because I had a horrible childhood or am some kind of anti-religious nut. I just don't get the satisfaction out of spending money on cards, gifts, decorations, or even worse - a TREE.
I am also not against people getting trees or chopping trees down - I could really give a flying crap. Do what you want. Yes, I had a tree when I was a kid - in fact, it was often taken to the most extreme level of holiday gayness - we actually went to tree farms and selected a tree and then cut it down - as a family.
I have escaped getting a tree for probably 7 years now. My boss (wife) likes to get a tree. I have gotten away with tearing out a picture of a tree from one of those silly housewife magazines and taping it over the fireplace. Even after the twins arrived (three years ago) I got away with not having a tree. This year, she put her foot down and like they say - you have to pick your battles.
Let's load the crumb snatchers into the mini-van, go down to Lowes and pick out a nice $50.00 tree. Not one too inexpensive (read cheap) and not one too expensive - just a nice middle of the road Noble Fir. Whatever. "OH YES - Please save the extra limbs cut from the bottom of the tree - I'm going to make a wreath! Craft time with the kids!" says the wife - cripes! - they're still sitting on top of the hose real where I left them a week ago.
Sling the thing up on top of the van hoping the sheet will protect the paint job on the 8 mile ride home going 70mph. Tie it down using my Deck Div mooring knots. I guess it was kind of funny looking at all the other nasty civilians in the parking lot with 18 straps and 14 ropes trying to get a tree to stay on their vehicle for the 2 block ride home. I'm positive that some trees were lost that night.
Get home - drink two beers - get the tree in the stand and put it in the living room and begin the decorating fun - with another beer. The baby - from here on out will be known as Baby Godzirra - wants to help too. There's a reason for that nickname. Can you hear the holiday cheer now?
OK - Trees up, lights, balls, all that crap. Two days goes by and the boss says - "The tree is dead and I want to get a new one". This thought was so ludicrous that I couldn't help but laugh. Saturday night she reminds me that we are going to get a new tree tomorrow - on Football Sunday - the Chargers play at 10am so we WILL be home by then - that was me putting my foot down.
Sunday morning - the wife says she called Lowes and they don't want the dead tree back - just bring in the receipt and get a new one. Perfect says me - I'll watch the kids, you head down to Lowes, flash a smile and push the hair out of your face and get one of this big, strong, tree lot attendants to load up a new tree in the back of the SUV. I'm not sure how but she falls for it - YOO HOO! Time for a beer. 20 minutes later she calls and says that they credited my credit card but won't let her buy a new one because she is not the card holder - cripes!
She gets home and I take one of the twins and go get another tree. They just received a load in the night before - and honestly - I didn't even bother looking at it - I just pointed at one the right price and type and told them to ring it up. I arrive home just in time for kick off and a beer.
I swap the tree out at half time. New tree looks fine - whatever. Chargers win and I still have some beer! Now it's time to hang the lights on the house - WHAT!!! - Lights on the house? I am really starting to dislike this holiday.
Now my neighbor, Joe shows up to gloat and laugh - UNTIL - I show him the "dead" tree - which by the way is perfectly acceptable to 99% of the world - and he says it's the best tree he's ever seen. IDEA! Joe can have the tree, and I won't have to dispose of the pig. My wife sees what we're up to and immediately calls Joe's wife to warn her. WTFO?!? We get the tree set up in Joe's tree stand out front of his house and hose it down so it looks nice. Joe's wife pulls up and sees the tree and is non-committal but I know that Joe is a cheap bastard and will somehow swing it - either way - possession is 9/10 of the law and now he is in charge of disposing of the tree!!
Bottom line - I dislike holidays - dislike getting a tree - and I had to get TWO trees. Hum Bug.
I am also not against people getting trees or chopping trees down - I could really give a flying crap. Do what you want. Yes, I had a tree when I was a kid - in fact, it was often taken to the most extreme level of holiday gayness - we actually went to tree farms and selected a tree and then cut it down - as a family.
I have escaped getting a tree for probably 7 years now. My boss (wife) likes to get a tree. I have gotten away with tearing out a picture of a tree from one of those silly housewife magazines and taping it over the fireplace. Even after the twins arrived (three years ago) I got away with not having a tree. This year, she put her foot down and like they say - you have to pick your battles.
Let's load the crumb snatchers into the mini-van, go down to Lowes and pick out a nice $50.00 tree. Not one too inexpensive (read cheap) and not one too expensive - just a nice middle of the road Noble Fir. Whatever. "OH YES - Please save the extra limbs cut from the bottom of the tree - I'm going to make a wreath! Craft time with the kids!" says the wife - cripes! - they're still sitting on top of the hose real where I left them a week ago.
Sling the thing up on top of the van hoping the sheet will protect the paint job on the 8 mile ride home going 70mph. Tie it down using my Deck Div mooring knots. I guess it was kind of funny looking at all the other nasty civilians in the parking lot with 18 straps and 14 ropes trying to get a tree to stay on their vehicle for the 2 block ride home. I'm positive that some trees were lost that night.
Get home - drink two beers - get the tree in the stand and put it in the living room and begin the decorating fun - with another beer. The baby - from here on out will be known as Baby Godzirra - wants to help too. There's a reason for that nickname. Can you hear the holiday cheer now?
OK - Trees up, lights, balls, all that crap. Two days goes by and the boss says - "The tree is dead and I want to get a new one". This thought was so ludicrous that I couldn't help but laugh. Saturday night she reminds me that we are going to get a new tree tomorrow - on Football Sunday - the Chargers play at 10am so we WILL be home by then - that was me putting my foot down.
Sunday morning - the wife says she called Lowes and they don't want the dead tree back - just bring in the receipt and get a new one. Perfect says me - I'll watch the kids, you head down to Lowes, flash a smile and push the hair out of your face and get one of this big, strong, tree lot attendants to load up a new tree in the back of the SUV. I'm not sure how but she falls for it - YOO HOO! Time for a beer. 20 minutes later she calls and says that they credited my credit card but won't let her buy a new one because she is not the card holder - cripes!
She gets home and I take one of the twins and go get another tree. They just received a load in the night before - and honestly - I didn't even bother looking at it - I just pointed at one the right price and type and told them to ring it up. I arrive home just in time for kick off and a beer.
I swap the tree out at half time. New tree looks fine - whatever. Chargers win and I still have some beer! Now it's time to hang the lights on the house - WHAT!!! - Lights on the house? I am really starting to dislike this holiday.
Now my neighbor, Joe shows up to gloat and laugh - UNTIL - I show him the "dead" tree - which by the way is perfectly acceptable to 99% of the world - and he says it's the best tree he's ever seen. IDEA! Joe can have the tree, and I won't have to dispose of the pig. My wife sees what we're up to and immediately calls Joe's wife to warn her. WTFO?!? We get the tree set up in Joe's tree stand out front of his house and hose it down so it looks nice. Joe's wife pulls up and sees the tree and is non-committal but I know that Joe is a cheap bastard and will somehow swing it - either way - possession is 9/10 of the law and now he is in charge of disposing of the tree!!
Bottom line - I dislike holidays - dislike getting a tree - and I had to get TWO trees. Hum Bug.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Assignment to my first submarine
We selected assignments to submarines based on class rank and availability. I had the second highest score in the class and the guy with the high score wanted to go to SPACE C School - dooming him to be a Boomer Fag, er ... Ballistic Missile Submarine (SSBN) Duty and another months of school - which he must have been after - to delay the inevitable of going to sea (whatta fag).
He got the billet of his dreams and I got first pick of Submarines. I selected the USS Gurnard out of San Diego - I'm a SoCal Boy and wanted to stay local. The Gurnard actually had two billets so I was going to my first boat with my partner in crime - Mike Govan.
The guy with the lowest score in the class had to take the last billet on the board - the USS Guardfish - a 594 class boat that at the time was the second or third oldest boat in the fleet including the Blueback (SS-581). We all laughed at the poor bastard.
Flash forward 3 days and minutes after a personnel inspection that I didn't exactly show up 4.0 (or sober). I was "asked" to visit with STSCS/SS Wolf - course coordinator - and never really understood me. He told me that instead of getting the 30 days leave and stationed aboard the Gurnard, I was going to the USS Permit (SSN-594) - THE oldest nuke boat in the fleet. He personally suggested me due to my excellent ability and high marks during the C School course - or so he said. Even better, the Permit was due to deploy (NORTHPAC) in three days so forget the 30 days leave - in fact, any leave - I was to report directly to the boat the day after graduation.
Needless to say, I was the new laughing stock of the class - probably because I instigated the laugh-fest for the poor soul who got the Guardfish billet to begin with. Little did I know it was a blessing in disguise and would shape my opinion and attitude about submarine service, hazing, and nukes for the remainder of my Navy career.
Next Post - The first day aboard the USS Pemit (SSN-594).
He got the billet of his dreams and I got first pick of Submarines. I selected the USS Gurnard out of San Diego - I'm a SoCal Boy and wanted to stay local. The Gurnard actually had two billets so I was going to my first boat with my partner in crime - Mike Govan.
The guy with the lowest score in the class had to take the last billet on the board - the USS Guardfish - a 594 class boat that at the time was the second or third oldest boat in the fleet including the Blueback (SS-581). We all laughed at the poor bastard.
Flash forward 3 days and minutes after a personnel inspection that I didn't exactly show up 4.0 (or sober). I was "asked" to visit with STSCS/SS Wolf - course coordinator - and never really understood me. He told me that instead of getting the 30 days leave and stationed aboard the Gurnard, I was going to the USS Permit (SSN-594) - THE oldest nuke boat in the fleet. He personally suggested me due to my excellent ability and high marks during the C School course - or so he said. Even better, the Permit was due to deploy (NORTHPAC) in three days so forget the 30 days leave - in fact, any leave - I was to report directly to the boat the day after graduation.
Needless to say, I was the new laughing stock of the class - probably because I instigated the laugh-fest for the poor soul who got the Guardfish billet to begin with. Little did I know it was a blessing in disguise and would shape my opinion and attitude about submarine service, hazing, and nukes for the remainder of my Navy career.
Next Post - The first day aboard the USS Pemit (SSN-594).
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